THE BIRDS SONGS

I was won by the sound of nature

The beauty of its song

The unison of its melody

The beauty of its peace

That I needed so long

 

I was charmed by the chirping of the weaver,

As I drifted down dreams of a river

That coloured life newer than ever

Dancing on a branch, wooing his lover.

 I too was wooed by his wonder

 

I was calmed by the pigeons coo,

The song of a bird so true

That carried me among the clouds,

Then lay me on fluff that flew

Cleared my heart of rue

I was lifted by the cockerel’s crow,

His declaration that the time now

To stand tall with pride on brow

To forth and good to sow

To work hard and never bow

IN THE CASTLE OF MY SKIN

In the castle of my skin
The walls crumble, the moats are ablaze
The thoughts are tangled in a maze
I do not belong among its walls
I do not belong in its halls

In the castle of my skin
The jester is dead,
The halls fill with dread
The king lost his head
And his crown with it

In this castle,
Peace is all but gone,
Confidence is forbidden ghost
Doubt an unwelcome host
Depression larks in the dark
Insecurity hangs close by
This castle is crumbling
This castle of my skin

ACCEPTANCE

I embrace the darkness within me,
And  twirl to the swirls it forms around me,
What a beautiful fate we birth,
The shadows and shallows of things concealed

I embrace the fire that burns within me
Dance to the leaping curling flames,
Scalding, scorching, blistering hot
Warming and glinting the joy within

RUNNING ON EMPTY

How am I a ghost,
Yet I am not dead?
Living and skulking in their shadows
While my life is terribly hollow.

Why are my joys tied to theirs
And my grief doubly so
Why am I weighed by a guilt of theirs
Yet their wrongs I do not know

In becoming part of the whole,
Did I lose myself,
Did I leave my individuality on the shelf
For these formless beasts to sell.

What happened to the soul that lived within,
When was its flame snuffed out,
when was it snapped from being?
This dead form clearly does not belong.

Villain

I will be your villain
Because I know
you need to hate me
You need to blame me
So I will be your villain,

I will be your villain,
because you know
You got bored
you found a knew love
and moved on
so I will be your villain

I will be your villain
Because you couldn't just go,
Because i had to have done wrong
Because I had to the one who is sore
so I will be your villain

I will be your villain
Because you could no longer talk,
Because you were weak
And ashamed to admit it
That you stopped communication
When that is what you longed for
So I am your villain
Be pleased and smear my name
I know you will,
Like you did to those before me

Is it strange that I chose death to end this wretchedness. I have considered numerous ways to end it but none have quite appealed to me enough to want to try them.
I was open to drowning but the fact that it would take seven whole minutes before actually feeling the lasting relief of death is too long. Besides, I would much prefer to end it all rather than end up on the brink only to be pulled back.
Hanging also has no appeal given that it also takes 7 minutes for one to die. That and the fact that as your body shuts down, you will shit and piss your pants before your on your way. 

BOTTOM OF THE LAKE

At the bottom of the lake,
where my dreams and hopes,
rippled at the surface
And my regrets and joys
surged and swell underneath
lies the ghost
that once was me...